thoughts

All posts tagged thoughts

F-r-u-s-t-r-a-t-i-o-n

Published January 22, 2014 by sophiachandler

Ingredients:
3 heaps of anger
A dash of confusion
2 teaspoons of the desire to punch somebody (specifically, said person who started the argument)
A Skype group chat
Vulgarities
Hell

Instructions:
1. Toss the anger, confusion and desire to punch somebody in a mixing bowl.
2. Sift the mixture through the Skype group chat. Make sure mixture is fine.
3. Heat up the mixture at boiling temperature for fifteen minutes. Slowly, pour in hell and stir mixture until thick.
4. Let dish simmer for a few minutes, while adding vulgarities.
5. The dish is now ready to be served.

*note: this dish serves a very pissed-off tree, a meh sheepcat, the cool-calm-collected-but-not-really guy and the camwhore named after diapers.

Tinier-than-Teensy Update

Published January 22, 2014 by sophiachandler

Tinier-than-Teensy Update

I can’t believe it.

16 full days to go before MY BIRTHDAY~ WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I’m currently trying to make Japanese flashcards.

And I’m confused. About a lot of stuff. And sad. Mostly guility. Kind of anger. Somewhat understanding.

How do you apologize to someone whom you called a ‘worthless piece of shit’?

I don’t think you know who I am in real life.

sorry anyways.

~Sophia

Sneak Peek

Published January 19, 2014 by sophiachandler

So here’s a not-so-small snippet of the fanfic:

“You’re moving?” he asks, a trace of disbelief evident in his voice. His eyes are wide. Whether with disappointment, shock, or both, she doesn’t know, but she notices the way his hands ball into fists at his sides, and then relax once more again.

She can’t even understand why he’s looking so upset. The last time they spoke was in the exact same hallway, a week before, when he’d brushed against her accidentally while they were rushing to get to their classes; her to Biology, him to English. He’d apologized briefly and dashed away in the opposite direction before she could say anything.

“Yeah, I am,” she responds warily. She closes her locker, spins the dial on the lock and picks up her bag, slinging it over one shoulder. She looks up. He stares back at her. She can’t read the emotion on his face. Confusion, maybe? She lifts her chin and returns his gaze with an equally intense look.

She feels like they’re in first grade again, two kids standing beside the swing set, twin stubborn glares on their faces. Their arms crossed, glares leveled, stubbornness emerging.

She almost chuckles a little at the memory. That’s how they met. That’s how they became best friends.

That’s how they aren’t right now. Not in the best terms of friends.

That last statement makes her jolt back into reality. She breaks the connection, dropping her gaze. She turns to leave.

“Where’re you going?”

Rolling her eyes, she turns around. “Home, Declan. Home. You know. The house where I live. Where I eat and sleep.”

“Funny, I thought you lived in a garbage dump, not a house.”

“You done playing twenty questions or can I leave? I have other things to do other than playing games with you all day.”

“ I meant to ask you where you were moving to,” he says, his grin vanishing.

“Portland, Oregon,” she sighs. She hears him gasp slightly.

“Damn… that’s all the way on the other side of the country,” he mumbles.

“No shit, Sherlock.”

He’s quiet, letting all this new information process. She watches his face, all scrunched up and confused-looking. She knows that look. For years she recognized it as the confused look Declan got when he was trying to solve a complicated math equation.

His eyes are twin galaxies, still yet to be explored. His eyes were the reason she’d fallen for –

No. Wait. Wait. Her mind’s in a frenzy, trying to banish that piece of information from her mind. She can feel her cheeks heating up and turning scarlet. Alexandra Blanchett has never fallen for Declan Holtman. Ever. No no no scratch that, Alexandra Blanchett has and will never fall for anyone until she graduates from high school.

Ever.

“You’re blushing,” he says.

“I’m not,” she says hotly.

“You were,” he says, smirking, and she feels the urge to kick him. Preferably, in the balls.

“Was not.”

“Was.”

“Not.”

“Was.”

“Not.”

“Was.”

“Not.”

I’m in love with their relationship. If you can’t tell. It reminds me of Things I’ll Never Say by Avril Lavigne (please go listen to it, I promise it’ll be AWESOME) because of the amount of denial that the two characters have when they’re trying to admit to the fact that they obviously do like/liked each other.

Which is the real thing :3 (I wish)

But I’m getting the feeling that it isn’t turning into a fanfic. It’s this real legit story of hopes and dreams that could possibly become a real tearjerker. And I hope that I’ll be able to stay committed throughout this story, because everything about it makes me want to continue and strive and expand their developing feelings.

If you liked this bit, like this post!

~Sophia

The Thing About Selfies

Published January 12, 2014 by sophiachandler

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After spending three days two nights at a school camp where I was stuck sleeping in a classroom with thirty other hyperactive, TFiOS-extreme-fangriling, 1D-loving girls, I can honestly say that I am grateful for boys to keep my sanity.

SELFIES ARE THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE.

I don’t get how people like taking pictures of themselves and posting them online so thate evryone may admire them and bow down at their feet. I think it’s narcisstic. And vain. And fake. Said selfie-taker will post a caption saying something like “at starbucks with mah bffs ❤ their caramel frap #swag” or “swear i wasn’e even trying to take a picture…. #accidental selfie but i love my face…. don’t you? ;)” (how they manage to look so bliddy perfect with makeup and fake eyelashes and a lot of mascara is beyond me. obviously the picture was TOTALLY accidental…. not like they didn’t hit the camera button accidentally or anything…) And everyone in the comment session is like “PREEEEEEETTY” or “cutiepie 😉 ily” or “damn you hawt” or whatever comments that showcase their incredible use of vocabulary. Because hawt is actually a proper word.

Of course, I mean, I understand if some people take a selfie for their profile picture, so that friends, family and acquaintances can recognize your face and friend/follow you on social media, but taking daily selfies to post on Instagram frustrates and confuses me. I like pictures of people in their natural state, not looking at the camera with fake makeup and all that shaz. But that’s just my personal preference.

And speaking of natural state, look at the #accidentalselfie one. I…. ugh. That selfie makes me roll my eyes and click said selfie-user’s account, finger hovering just above the “unfollow” button as I decide if this person is still worthy enough to be followed…

I love this article on Smosh in which they discuss #accidentalselfie:

19 Allegedly Accidental Selfies

Here’s a peace offering for my three-day absence:

“Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living and above all, those who live without love.”
~Albus Dumbledore

I’ve been rereading my Harry Potter and… this quote is so Beautifully Haunted.

~Sophia

Coward

Published December 31, 2013 by sophiachandler

I was in this New Year’s Skype Call with my friends from school, and there is this absolute a**hole that I am so pissed about that feel compelled to ruin your holiday mood.

Dear Party-Pooper,

Your name means council protector. I think you’d make a very crappy one. If you don’t have enough guts to tell someone that you hate them, straight to their face, THEN DON’T TELL PEOPLE ABOUT IT IN THE CHAT. I know you’ve been hating on a lot of people. Including me. You think I’m lazy. Including my best friend. You think she’s hypocritical. Including the cheerful, bubbly girl who doesn’t reject my hugs. You hate her for her crappy teamwork.

Is that all you can see in us?

See here, this is your problem. You look at the negative side of people. You don’t look at the good stuff. The good stuff and the bad stuff together is what makes us beautiful. It’s what makes us human. You’re not perfect. Nobody is. So stop trying to find the cracks in the walls some people have built to protect themselves from the outside. Stop trying to curse them. Have you ever realized how much it hurts?

I’ve heard you bullying him, even behind my back. I’ve heard bad stuff said about me to my own best friend from you. Just because I didn’t dare to do that high jump didn’t mean I wasn’t determined. I’d fallen the last time, and it hurt bad. Don’t assume stuff you don’t know about me.

And him. I think you’re a loser, if you could whine on and on about how he got into the same class as you, and how he was such a f****tard. He’s not. He’s a nice guy deep down inside, but just because he spends the time on Facebook being annoying, doesn’t mean he deserves to be branded ‘idiot’.

I think you’re the idiot.

Let me tell you who you are: a bully.

Why can’t you take a look in the mirror and see who you really are? Why can’t you see yourself, the cracked, distorted reflection that you really are?

~Sophia

Happy New Year

Published December 31, 2013 by sophiachandler

the title of the post = I’m unimaginative currently, so please bear with it 🙂

All day long I have been spammed by social media notifications all related to the same thing: HAPPY NEW YEAR. After fifty messages I found it to be extremely annoying, and thus disabled all notifications.

And I know this will be another not-so-important Happy New Year post popping up on your newsfeed, but I’d like to write about my New Year Resolution. I think everyone’s got one. Some people want to go on a diet and experience the Land of Skinny – not fun. I should know. I have a black hole in my stomach that makes me as skinny as a stick. Some people want to study harder and achieve straight As. Some people, like me, want to change their habits.

These are my New Year’s resolutions:

1. Stop Procastinating
Subtitle says it all. I really. Need to. It’s kinda annoying when I’ve been at the computer all the time for the whole holiday, and then on December 31st I look up and go in surprise, “Where the heck did my six weeks go? How come I haven’t started organizing my underwear/sock/clothes drawer? How come I haven’t started putting away my stationery? What have I done at all?”

._. definitely something I have to change.

2. Swear Less
I’m getting influenced by all my male friends. I hear and see the f-word all the time in Skype calls and Facebook chats and tweets. And I’ve started to cuss too, but I WILL change it.

._. if I will be determined to change it, that is.

3. Be More Sociable
I’d like to talk more to members of the opposite (and same) gender, is what it is. I’d love to make myself feel comfortable around everyone, instead of harbouring the thoughts of “OGOD HE/SHE HATES MY GUTS AND WANTS TO WRENCH THEM OUT ONE BY ONE AND WATCH ME BLEED” no, can we not do that? Can we please think of puppies and rainbows and ponies and unicorns and fluffy cute stuff like girls and boys falling in love?

._. unicorns aren’t even real.

4. Love Myself
I’d like to think that I am not fugly everytime I look in the mirror.

In this one Skype call, we sang the One Direction song What Makes You Beautiful to Kia and made her blush like crazy too~ :3 that was fun! and cute. and sweet. But then I looked into the mirror and I went, “I wish I was actually not fugly.”

I read this one quote off the Internet, and it went a little like this:

“Sometimes people are beautiful.
Not in looks.
Not in what they say.
Just in what they are.”

Granted, you don’t exactly need to have a heart of gold to be considered beautiful. What makes you beautiful is you being you.

Okay that sounded corny… but I hoped it helped, for the demoralizing people like hypocritical me here who don’t think they’re beautiful. For a little lilypad out there: you ARE beautiful. He probably thinks you’re beautiful too. 🙂

And I’ve come to the end of my post…. If I dream of any more resolutions I’ll update this post 😀 Happy New Year and all the best for 2014!

~Sophia